I have been contemplating a career shift lately, and have been taking a good hard look at crazy. Not like the dangerous kind, just the docile, catatonic kind. I mean, think about how easy life would be if your entire to do list consisted of, take medication and drool on yourself. Life would be so much easier if nobody had any expectations of you, “look, he blinked. YAY!”

You wouldn’t have to worry about your looks or hygiene any more, so that cuts out morning prep time, and you can reclaim that time in your life. And if somebody comes up to you and tells you that you look terrible, so what? “Hey, I’m a grapefruit, I don’t have to look good, what’s your excuse?”

I think that the only real problem with this particular career choice is that you don’t get nights and weekends off, and vacation time is pretty much out of the question. But at least every day is a sick day.

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I made up a good poem in the event that I decide on that occupation:

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I’m schizophrenic,
And I’m a grapefruit :P.