I was beginning to wonder when Sheryl Crow was going to finally get involved. It took her so long, I thought she was just going to stand idly by and watch as the atrocities we have to endure unfold. But finally, she has decided to throw her hat into the ring, and go after the real villain in the war on global warming…

That’s right, toilet paper. Yes, she is finally tackling the elephant in the room that nobody dared poke. She is suggesting that a limitation be put on society limiting toilet paper use. It’s high time someone warned us against our toilet paperin’ ways.

Yep, she is cutting down to one square of toilet paper a day, two in a pinch, but as absolution she will suck on the tailpipe of one of her tour buses.

Save the planet, use your hand!!! It washes off.

Just out of curiosity, who wants the job of bathroom police to monitor peoples toilet paper usage?

And in even more ridiculously related news, not only is she starting her crusade against toilet paper, but she now has her sights on paper towels and napkins.

You heard it right, she now has a clothing line with a “dining sleeve”. The “dining sleeve” is a detachable sleeve that can be replaced by another sleeve once the diner is finished using it to wipe their hands and mouth.

I can’t make this stuff up folks, this is funny enough all on it’s own. Can you imagine going into a fine restaurant and seeing all the uppety ups sitting around wiping their mouths and hands on their sleeves? When I was growing up and did that I got slapped. Now we’re supposed to do it? I’m so confused.

Hey Sheryl, if you’re so all fired up against using paper napkins, they do sell cloth napkins. Your welcome to carry as many as you’d like. You can even have them monogrammed and everything.